I am very lucky that I can do my grocery shopping without having to bring my children. The few times that they do come with me, the trip becomes quite stressful.

Why?

Let’s just say even though my kids do not watch a lot of commercials they are still very much attracted to the cartoon figures on the boxes of all the cakes, crackers, chocolate bars and cookies.

I had an experience with my youngest daughter the week before Easter. The store shelves were lined with chocolate bunnies and chocolate cartoon characters. It was crazy trying to get through the store with a child crying for all this junk food. My kids never have this kind of food and if I do let my kids have sweets it has to be homemade with good quality ingredients. This way they get to help, have some fun and learn how to read and follow recipes.

But nevertheless, even though this kind of food never enters our house – my dear daughter wanted junk food very badly.

In the grocery stores, it is the appeal of the box or wrapper that initially makes us buy the product. Kids are the same and are drawn to cartoons, yummy looking pictures, sweets and bright colors.

If your child asks for junk do you cave in and buy it? Do you bring it home and have a treat yourself?

One day I was walking through the aisles of the grocery store when I noticed a preteen girl putting junk food in her family’s grocery cart. As her mother was moving the cart down the aisle, she was putting all the junk food back on the shelves! Could you do this?

When my daughter had this little grocery store episode, our conversation went a little like this…

“Mom, can I have this chocolate?”

“No”

“Mom, can I have this candy?”

“No”

“Mom, can I have that bunny…?”

“No”

“Mom, can I have those cookies…?”

“No”

Then she came across some non food stuffs and asked to have a disposable camera. And I said “yes”.

This was totally unexpected and she was thrilled to have this disposable camera she could play with. With that camera in her hand, the junk food aisles disappeared in her eyes.

What do you think?

• How do you handle your child’s junk food cravings?
• What do you think about how food is being marketed to children?
• Do your kids have a say in what food you buy?

Feel free to share your thoughts,

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President Obama was in Ottawa, Canada yesterday (Feb 18). No one expected much interaction with the public. And most people were just happy to see his car or catch a quick glimpse of him.

After his meeting with Prime Minister Harper, President Obama did make an unexpected stop. He visited a French bakery to get some treats for his two daughters. He bought some Canadian Maple Leaf cookies and a deep fried pastry. It was later reported that those same baked goods sold out in record time later that day and they were selling like crazy today. The cookies were affectionately renamed the “Obama Cookies”

Adults love to treat their own kids and other peoples kids to sweet things. When visiting the bank, my daughters get offered cookies or muffins. Their Grandparents love “spoiling” kids with sweet indulgences. And most parents like to give their kids cookies like we see with President Obama.

In the summer I was at the health club. Dance classes had just finished because there were little ballerinas all around me. I saw a mother offer her little four year old daughter a brightly coloured frosty slushy. The daughter had not even asked for it, and yet it was given to her. I have no idea why there would be a slushy and vending machines at a health club??? But obviosly they are making money off of them.

As you can see with the actions of President Obama… He bought cookies and deep fried pastry and then many others followed until they sold out.

Adults are pushing sugar at their kids. And when they do that they are pushing long term degenerative diseases at them. This sets up a dangerous belief in kids that sugar is not harmful and that if the people that they trust are handing it to them then it is okay. But obesity and weight problems start in childhood.

Sugar is evil! It is harmful! It causes inflammation. Inflammation is the root cause to many painful diseases.

Kids don’t need adults giving them sugar. Let’s become good role models for our kids and set up good healthy habits in childhood.

Just as the President set an example and the people followed. We as parents have to set an example so our children can follow.

To your health and wellness,

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Let me tell you about the time when my daughter Aliena was a year and a half. She had a really hard time eating vegetables.  We were vegetarian at the time and I thought that a balanced diet should include veggies!

As hard as I tried and searched ways to be creative, nothing really worked. I blended veggies in sauces, made dips, pretended that broccoli were trees, made carrot muffins and zucchini bread. Veggies were not foreign in our house and were served on a regular basis. These were the foods that we would eat and that  she was growing up with and nothing new and unusual. I was determined to find a way to get my daughter to like them.

One thing that I did notice that was bothering me is that she loved carbohydrates. She craved her cereals and oatmeal, devoured her crackers, ate the bread instead of her whole sandwich, inhaled her pasta and rice. She just loved those carbs.

As it turned out she ended up having some health problems and we had to severely restrict her grain consumption. Taking away her favourite foods was very much like going through a withdrawal period when you are addicted to something. Not only was she a toddler and going through normal toddler phases and sickness but she was going through a carb addiction withdrawal. Who new that this could even happen? But she just screamed at the cupboards were here food normally was. It took her a while to get over it.

After a few weeks of this she started to experiment with veggies. To my surprise she started liking them. She started eating them without being prompted to and she was even eating salads and other green stuff! I no longer had to disguise them for her.

Since realizing how detrimental excessive carbs can be to children, I also restricted my second daughters carb intake. From the moment she tried solid food she was enjoying her veggies. She is more of a picky eater when it comes to dark green salads, I can still get them in her with a little bit of creative play.

I try not to give my kids more than one serving of sprouted or soaked grains a day. The sprouting and soaking of grain is necessary to neutralize anti-nutrients. So they enjoy Ezekiel Bread and on occasion soaked oatmeal. As side effect of limiting carbs my kids enjoy their greens in green smoothies, and Aliena eats kale salads and collard green wraps.

Having kids means that you enjoy the company of their friends. It is a shame to observe today’s children say stuff like “I hate veggies and I never eat them”, Or that when you serve veggies for snack that it does not get eaten. Children are becoming malnourished even though they are eating plenty of food. It is just not the right kind of food.

This has been my experience.

I would love to hear yours! How do you get your picky eater to eat their veggies and green salad?

To your health and wellness,

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There are many things in life to be desired for – whether you are striving to lose a few pounds, stick to a diet, to get a pay raise or to quite smoking. So what do you think will get you there? Will it be self discipline or motivation?  I actually have found the answer to this question in a parenting book!

I have been reading this book called the Secrets of Discipline-12 Keys for Raising Responsible Children by Ron G. Morrish. The word discipline sounds harsh and punitive but the true meaning of it is to train and it comes from the word disciple which means student.

So lately I have been finding myself bargaining with my children to get them to do what I ask. There are many examples of this throughout the day like “get dressed and then you can have some breakfast” or “clean up and then we can …” or “eat your salad and then you can have a dessert”. This is called bribery and it is exhausting and frustrating. This way of parenting establishes a “what’s in it for me” attitude. And if the reward is not good enough then soon the kids will lose interest in what needs to be done.

The alternative to bribing children to do what you ask them to do is to set expectations and routines for them. “No” and “Failure” are not acceptable. The only other option is to succeed.

———
An example of this would be getting a child to clean up their room. If your child is young you can set a time limit of 15 minutes so the task does not seem overwhelming. And then stop when the time is up even if the room is not totally cleaned up.

Mom says: Let’s go and clean up your room. (Notice there is no choice in this statement)
Child says: No!

Mom brings the child to the room.

Mom says: ok honey, pick up the books and put them on the bookshelf.
Child says: No!

Mom takes the child’s hand and gets the child to pick up the books and put it away on the shelf.

Mom says: ok, let’s pick up the Lego. I hold the box and you pick up the pieces.
Child says: ok!

———-

This is an example out of the Secrets of Discipline and it is what happened to me when I implemented it. My daughter had no choice but to clean up her room. I stood by and directed her movement. I told her what to pick up and where to put it away. This is what training is all about. There is no room for failure. The only other option is success – you do it until you get it!

Practice makes perfect

Once a behavior is established you need to practice it to perfect it. If you have ever been on a sports team you know how important practice is before a game. Also before you get a drivers license you need to practice how to drive before you take the driving test.

*Without practice, failure is very likely.*

Do you practice during a game or test? No, you practice before.

So with any behavior that you want changed you need to practice it until it you do it without thinking about it!

Creating Self-Discipline

Cleaning up is often horrible chore. But the more we think about how horrible it is the less likely we are to do it. So we get rid of choice and just clean up without thinking about it. The cleaning up just got less painful and with practice it will become a routine. This is self-discipline. We train ourselves to do things that seem painful until it becomes habitual.

Motivation

Motivation is defined as a psychological reason for an action. Motivation is great for short term. You can get pumped to do something but if you stop being motivated then failure is likely to happen. So what happens if you get off track? Well negative thoughts will start to beat down those motivating thoughts and soon giving up and failure are likely. Motivation is only a short term solution.

Conclusion

For true success we need to build concrete routines and practice those routines until we don’t need to think about them and just do them!

To your health and wellness,

Catherine Osthaus

Ps. Check out Scott Tousignant’s Unstoppable Fatloss program. It’s like having a personal trainer in your home. A trainer to tell you exactly what to do and how to lose that unwanted fat. There is no more choice to fail. It is not an option. Practice a routine and do it!

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Last week on the CBC Radio Ontario Morning Show there was a woman who was telling her story of survival at the Aboriginal Residential Schools. These schools were government run and the aboriginal children were sent there to educate them in English, Christianity and mainstream customs. Every aboriginal child was forced to go to such a boarding school because attendance was mandatory. These children were taken from their families and stripped away of their aboriginal heritage. They were even punished when they spoke their native language to their siblings. Many aboriginal children were sexually abused, beaten and some even killed. 

This aboriginal woman who was doing the interview on the CBC radio managed to come home to her community. But she did not fit in anymore. It was time for her to go to a normal High School and she did not want to go. She was broken and scared. She decided to go to school with her younger siblings. She went to their class and got a book and started reading to the class. She managed to spend the rest of the day there and then the principle came and spoke to her. The girl asked if she could come back the next day, that she needed to because going to school was mandatory. The principle understood her fear and allowed her. To this day there is a school picture of her in a grade one class.

I found this interview to be so touching. I wish that I could find it in the podcast, but I looked and could not find it on the CBC website. What really struck me is how much impact the principle had on this girl. The principle of the elementary school listened and was able to connect with this child. The principle understood that there was a lot of hurt and pain that needed to be healed.

So what is the lesson that I took out of this story… I want to be able to connect with my own children in this way. No matter how much they hurt, I want them to be able to come to me for help. As a mother, I need to love, connect, understand and acknowledge their feelings. When children are are heard a lot of their frustrations go away. When we connect with our kids it is easier to stear them in the right direction.

I would love to hear stories of how you are connecting with your children and the impact it is having on your relationship.

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